DJ's Forest Adventure: Part 1

David Jenkins was slumped in his recliner, laptop open in front of him.  He looked quite dejected and was browsing through online want ads, looking for a job or anything at all to lighten up his life.  As usual, he wasn’t coming up with much.

            But then he saw it.  He almost scrolled right past it, but he paused and right-clicked on it with a shrug, opening it in another tab to take a look.  Without looking at it, he continued scrolling through ads until he ran out of new ones.

            What had caught his attention was one word in the title: Adventure.  The title was actually “Go on an Adventure at no Cost to You!” which was even better given the current state of David’s finances.  Opening the ad, it got even better.  The gist of the ad was simple:  Raise at least five hundred dollars, half goes to a cancer charity, and the other half goes into the pot to be divvied up by the winning competitors.

            What the adventure actually was wasn’t really clear.  It sounded like fantasy-role playing, but mixed with an extreme eco-adventure race.  It said he would have to sign a waiver, but David wasn’t too worried.  He had been a Boy Scout, after all.

            David spent the rest of the evening researching, the dishes and laundry forgotten.  He even missed his usual MMO raid (actually, he forgot he had cancelled his subscription to save money the week before!) and replied to all chat requests with half-hearted answers consisting of as few words as possible.

            What did he discover?  Costumes were encouraged; helmets were supplied (and required).  It started at sunrise and ended at sunset.  It was occurring on four-hundred acres of wilderness complete with a small river, waterfalls, swamps, cliffs, and wildlife.  A labyrinth of paths existed, with tunnels and bridges and fences.  At the opposite end of the property lay the goal.  It was that simple, from what he was reading.

            But David couldn’t find a map or even pictures.  The address was an old big-box store parking lot; they would be bussed to the mysterious location at night.

            David registered.  He couldn’t think of a reason not to.  He set up his fund-raising website and shared it on various social-networking sites he belonged to.  He emailed friends.  He put down his computer and lurched to his feet, going to his bathroom (managing not to trip over any wires on the way) to look in the mirror.  At first, he didn’t really see anything, the lights were too bright.  They always were, so he never really looked at himself.

            The man looking back at him was not the man David Jenkins remembered.  A thick mop of frizzy brown hair sat on his head, coming down past his ears but not long enough to tie back if he needed too.  The weight he had put on in the last several months was almost hidden by the unkempt beard hanging from his chin, patchy on his cheeks and proudly displaying bits of food it had managed to catch.  His unibrow was thicker than he remembered and pimples dotted his forehead.  He would have to start with a shower.  He’d shower in the morning.

            It was probably a good thing he hadn’t jumped straight into the shower, he decided when he reached his bed.  David’s sheets looked like they should have been washed weeks ago, and the room smelled like it too.  He actually hesitated before collapsing on the bed and drifting off to a restless sleep.

            David gave up trying to sleep at six in the morning.  He got up and opened all his windows, hoping to air out his apartment.  Then he started cleaning.  Two hours later he had two full garbage bags to drag to the dumpster.  When he opened his door, the cute girl across the hall was just locking hers and jumped at the sight of him.  She scurried to the nearest stairwell and was gone without even squeaking hello like she usually did.

            Next on his to-do list was personal grooming.  He had collected a variety of beard-trimming devices in the decade since High School as he liked a bit of facial hair most of the time.  It wasn’t easy hacking away at his beard until it looked presentable, and the bathroom needed to be cleaned again.  Then it was shower time.

            After David had forced a comb through his shaggy hair, he discovered that the only clothes he had clean were a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt that wasn’t quite big enough for him anymore.  “Guess it’s time to do laundry,” he muttered to himself.

            It was three o’clock by the time he was finally ready to go out, and then he had to find somewhere to get his hair cut.  He settled on a nearby unisex salon where a grumpy middle-aged woman sheared off his hair significantly shorter than he had instructed and gave him bangs.  Bangs!  But he didn’t say anything, he just paid and left, nearly running back to his apartment.

            He had to leave again immediately as he didn’t have anything to cook for supper.

            That evening he attempted something he hadn’t since Junior High: a push-up.  He actually managed three before collapsing!

            David spent a few hours before bed researching training regimens; he didn’t plan on being so out of shape come event day!  There was a wide variety, none of which looked promising to him.  He didn’t believe himself capable of most of them, and others didn’t seem to be intended for the results he was looking for.

            The next day he went out in search of people he could ask for pledges from.  He quickly discovered that this adventure he was embarking on was difficult to explain adequately in a reasonable amount of time.  But he was liked well enough; he got a few pledges for ten dollars.  A good start, he told himself.

            That evening he forced himself to look for jobs again anyway.

Over the next three months David lost weight, kept his apartment clean, and continued looking for a new job.  He actually forgot about the website he had pointed everyone he knew online to; as the event day drew closer he started to fear he wouldn’t be able to participate.  He thought he only had $400 raised.

            But then he asked a friend if they would pledge him.

            “Dude, I already did!  I gave you twenty-five bucks!”

            “What?  I don’t remember asking you.”

            “Seriously?  You don’t remember spamming about that site?”

            “Uh … yeah.  Sorry.  I should probably check on that.”

            So he did.

            And he had almost five thousand dollars raised.

The day before event day, it was unbearably hot and forecast to be the same for the next three days.  David got his hair cut again – this time by a younger girl who chatted about video games and actually did a good job – and trimmed up his facial hair.  He put on his old walking sandals, a pair of floral-print swim trunks, and a stained white t-shirt that was now baggy on him.  He packed a lunch and his camera, and headed out to the meeting place.

            He wasn’t the first one there.  There were guys and girls, athletes and nerds.  Some were dressed as if for gym class, others were dressed up in LARP gear or Cosplay.  David didn’t exactly feel out of place, but he didn’t feel like he fit either.  He didn’t see anyone he knew, which was hardly a surprise.